Broken?

I knew it was broken when I touched it that day.
That roughness of the edge, the smooth sides and the change in color…
I asked my friends and they agreed
I took it outside to look at it in the sunlight.
Same.
It was broken.
I used to love the intense deepness and the clarity I would always see in it.
I spent hours gazing into its abyss, bathing in all the nuances,
running with it, flowing with it, swimming in it.
I missed that unbelievable blue. It used to reflect so nicely into my eyes…
Well…
Maybe I can fix it. I mean, surely, it’s not broken for good, right?
If I can just find that missing piece…
Maybe I can grow the missing piece.
I know, it won’t be the same, but it will be whole again.
I will be able to sink into it again.
Others will be able to enjoy it too.
Especially since theirs is probably broken too…
I know. I will hold it close, love it, wrap it in gentleness, collect colors from the rainbow and dip it in them, warm it up in the sunlight, sing to it, make it feel safe.
It will be whole again…
… my heart.

Letter to my mentor

It was a dark day, it was a cold day
We were sitting in that old building, in a small apartment, the air smelling of moth balls
I was searching; you have done your search
I was young; you were at the end of your journey
Questions, comments, discussions, opinions, advice… I had it all
Not from you
You told me to search my soul
You told me to look outside
You told me to listen to my heart
You told me to tell everyone to shut-up
You told me to decide
and continue searching
I did
You are gone
I am here, still here, still searching, but happy with what I found so far
I can sit in an old building, in a small apartment and
I hope I will tell someone else to continue searching…